DECISIONS

We all make decisions every day of our lives. Little ones, big ones, significant and insignificant. What to wear, what to have for breakfast, which route to use to drive to work. And mostly we don't give it much thought. But what of the really big, life altering decisions we have to make?



We are facing just such a decision, and I am grappling with something that will change my life forever, no matter which way I decide. Because both my husband and myself lost our jobs well before we had intended to retire, we were forced into early retirement. We had to seriously revise our plan as to what we would do and how we would spend the rest of our lives. Instead of staying put in California where we love it, and living off the equity in our home in addition to our retirement savings and social security, we found we must sell the house and relocate elsewhere. We lost half the equity in our home to the recession, and lost part of our social security because of having to take it early. I lost 24% of my pension by having to take it early. There are no jobs out there for 60-somethings, no matter how good we are at what we do. Simply put, we can't afford to stay where we are, doing what we're used to doing.



We have two choices. We can relocate to a less expensive part of California, where we can buy a small tract house and pay cash, so we have no mortgage payments, or we can move to another state where we can buy a grand house for the same money, and where many other things are less expensive than in California, so our retirement funds will go much further.



I guess in a way we are very fortunate, because we have a son near Dallas, Texas who has assumed the role of caregiver and who will care for us and watch over us in our old age. He has taken on this role willingly, and of three children, he would be the only one willing or able to do it. It would suit his interests to have us closer to him, so he is encouraging us to move near him. We are there now, on a factfinding mission, to see if moving to Texas would be something we could handle.



And therein is the crux of my present problem. The decision is basically up to me, whether I would be happy here or not. So far the area is pleasant, the people friendly, all the shopping I need is close by, and the houses are fabulous. We could have our "dream" home in Texas, finally. But the weather can be unbearable in the Summer, and I would be looking at spending a lot of my time indoors, and this would be true for a large portion of the year.



But what is the real difficulty for me in making a decision to move here? It's really leaving everything I have known and loved for 50 years. My friends, my adult grandson who will be on his own for the first time in his life, all my service providers that I trust and love. The ability to get where I'm going without maps or navigation systems because I know the city so well. My Red Hat group that I enjoy so much, my best friend who has been my support and comfort for 45 years. So much history, so much love. Knowing my neighbors, and running into people I know everywhere I go. Not to mention weather that suits me perfectly. These things are things you don't even think about, you take for granted, until you are about to lose them. Can what I'll gain make up for what I'll lose? This is what I have to figure out.



I know many people who pull up stakes and move to be nearer to their kids, but I never before appreciated the gut wrenching decision it takes to do that. My head says go, and my heart says try to stay at all costs. But do I want to let fear of the unknown stop me from what might turn out to be the greatest adventure, the best move of my life? I can make friends again, I can learn to navigate around, I can find new service providers. And my son is a delightful person who caters to me and enjoys being with family. The rest of them might come for a visit at Christmas.......maybe.


I'm leaning toward making the move, knowing in my heart that it's probably the best decision. But I am scared to death. Fear of the unknown can be overwhelming. And the thought of all the packing and moving, the logistics of such a move are equally overwhelming. Am I up to the challenge?



I don't have any of the answers right now, and I expect I'll spend a lot of sleepless nights before I get even a few of them. And I'll remain scared even after the deed is done. My one advantage is the internet, and without that, I don't think I'd even be considering the move. At least I can keep up to date with everyone I know and love.



So, any thoughts out there? Anyone do what I'm contemplating and it ended well....or horrible? Any advice?



Decisions! Who knew they could be this difficult and earth shattering?